


Fire In His Eyes

by Gomboc123



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: F/M, Lots of Angst, Lust!Roy, not your typical homunculus fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-07-27 15:32:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7624156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gomboc123/pseuds/Gomboc123
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The homunculi decided that the best way to get Colonel Mustang out of the picture was by trapping his soul somewhere they never thought it would escape, and giving his body up to the homunculus Lust. Torn in two pieces, Roy struggles to accept his new body, while Riza struggles to find her Colonel and bring him home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Vivification

Calloused hands.

Rough, worn spots on fingertips were not a novelty Lust was used to. Lust had never had the opportunity to become accustomed to hands that looked like they were meant for work. Callouses, scars, and the like never had a chance to manifest themselves, due to the homunculus’ advanced healing abilities. Any flaws or imperfections would be swept away by red lightning the second they may have appeared. These new, inherited scars would go in time as well, healed by the stone that brought Lust to life.

“So,” A voice called from the shadows as Lust sat up, scrutinizing this new body, clad in the vibrant cobalt of an Amestrian military uniform, “I see the procedure has gone successfully, then.”

Out from the shadows stepped Father, accompanied by Lust’s brothers, Envy, Gluttony, and Wrath. The slightest smile played on his lips as he examined his newest homunculus head to toe. Foggy memories rushed back into Lust’s mind, supplying the knowledge of a past life, and how Lust’s past body had lived and died.

“Do you feel alright?” Father asked, not as concerned about Lust’s wellbeing as he was concerned about Lust’s functionality, “Do you have full control of both the body and the mind?”

“Yes, I believe so,” Lust’s new voice came out deep and husky. It was a far cry from the previous voice, a sultry sound, smooth as silk. This new tone has a more raspy, dangerous quality, while still remaining sensual, and Lust liked that. The more Lust thought about it, the more familiar this new man’s voice sounded.

“Stand up, my child, and see how your new body feels,” Father prompted, and Lust swung his new legs off the operating table on which he sat. The thick soles of his standard-issue boots hit with a thunk, and Lust steadied himself as he straightened his back and ran a hand through thick, soft hair.

“The new body feels fine,” Lust stretched, then began regenerating any wounds or illnesses he may have inherited from the body’s previous owner. Red sparks danced around Lust’s hands, eating up any callouses, and deeper scars made by some kind of knife. They moved to his torso, rippling across his well-sculpted abdominal muscles. Small scrapes and bruises, accumulated over the years on every other body part fell prey to the wave of energy, transforming Lust’s skin to a flawless, ivory canvas, “Now it feels perfect.”

Wrath’s mustache twitched, “Perfect, eh?” He smirked, “Why don’t you look into a mirror and see who you are now?”

Walking was a new experience. Lust had previously walked with a provocative, hip-swinging gait, used to stiletto heels and a tight dress. This new body required him to saunter on with the same confidence, just with a more regal, authoritative attitude. He kept his chin held high, and his movements slow and straight.

He made his way over to the spot out of which Wrath, Father, and the others had stepped, and there stood a large mirror.

Peering in, Lust was met with cold, violet eyes and a mess of thick ebony hair. Familiarity screamed out, and once Lust realized exactly whose body he was now inhabiting, he let out a bone-chilling laugh.

“I told that bastard someday he’d get what was coming for him,” Lust licked his lips and reveled at the sight of his smirk- a smirk that he’d had the pleasure of seeing before his previous body was destroyed, “Tell me, did he scream when you put me in? Did his eyes beg for mercy?”

“He couldn’t have,” Father replied, a smirk creeping onto his normally expressionless face as well, “You see, his soul was ripped out of his body long before it became yours.”

“Really,” Lust stared at his hands, now adorned with black gloves, “So I don’t even need to worry about a meddlesome host?”

“Not one bit.”

Lust extended his claws, watching the light glint off of each razor-sharp point, “And where is his soul now? I assume you didn’t just waste one of our sacrifice candidates.”

“He’s somewhere we won’t have to worry about him ever again,” Another cryptic reply from Father, but Lust accepted it anyway. The whereabouts of his body’s previous host were something he’d find out sooner or later anyway. All that mattered right now was that feeling of being drunk on pure, undulated glee. Father really had chosen the perfect human body to turn into a homunculus. And better yet, the simple act of traipsing around in this new body exacted the perfect revenge against the man who’d sworn to stop and kill Lust.

For now, everything else could wait. So long as his soul was locked up somewhere deep and dark, where he couldn’t cause trouble, everything else could wait. It was trapped, and it was suffering.

* * *

 

On a floor somewhere below the laboratory, underneath rock and stone and the Central Command Center, steel walls reverberated with Roy Mustang’s screams- screams from the soul which now very dearly missed his true body.


	2. Disquieting Notions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's chapter 2! Hopefully chapter 3 will take a little less time to write.   
> Thank you to everyone who left nice reviews or gave kudos! I hope everyone enjoys this next part as well!  
> Please let me know if anything seems too out of character or rushed.

God, her feet hurt. Thousands of needles shoved their way through the soles of Riza’s boots, but she still remained, upright as a tree, enduring the pain. She’d never been standing for quite this long before. Her job required sitting at a desk most of the day, when she wasn’t currently assigned on a mission with the team. However, even then, snipers rarely stood. They laid in prone position, which, while not the most comfortable thing in the world, was infinitely better than being on her feet.

Although, the fatigue in her legs and the numbing in her toes could not hold a candle to the lead weights in Riza’s chest as she stood there, silent, only imagining what could be taking Roy so long.

He promised he’d come back. He’d given his word.

But that still left ample room for doubt to grow in Riza’s mind.

He’d jumped headlong into danger once again, but this time, had done so completely alone. Roy was certainly an accomplished and capable man, one who could take care of himself without a doubt, but even then, Riza reserved the right to worry. Accomplished and capable as Roy may be, there was no telling who or what he would encounter in that building.

Last time he’d faced off against a homunculus, yes, he’d killed her, but not before she skewered him and he’d almost died of blood loss and self-inflicted burns. No way would the rest of the homunculi fall for that same trick once again, and no way would they be caught off guard like the first time. They had been given ages to plan and prepare and protect themselves from any inferno Roy’s fingers could conjure. Skilled an alchemist as he may be, Roy’s only true strategy for killing monsters was snapping his fingers and transforming the room into a crematorium.

And surely not all the homunculi would be so easy to kill as Lust. Whatever sick puppet master was pulling the strings would not have sent his most powerful marionette to do his dirty work. But even with that said, Lust and even Gluttony had been almost impossible to kill by any normal means. Even incineration required multiple snaps and a long, slow burn. Could the others be too quick to get captured in the flames, or simply just be built durable enough not to burn? Riza had no way of knowing.

Roy had no way of knowing.

As much as she wanted to kick down the entrance to the command center, guns blazing, eyes wild with fury, Riza knew she couldn’t. Roy hadn’t been the only one to promise something all those hours ago.

Standing by their car, ignoring the glass in her feet, wiping away the sweat beading on her brow, and freezing her face in that determined, emotionless mask was all Riza could do until she spied her Colonel waltz out of Central Command, hopefully unscathed and accomplished. Waiting around was not in the nature of Riza Hawkeye, but she’d resigned herself to that fate the second she’d agreed to accompany her superior officer on this mission.

* * *

 

Eventually, the pain at the bottoms of Riza’s feet got so bad that she’d almost collapsed, and had to sit down on the pavement in front of the imposing white prison Roy was trapped in.

Ten hours.

Ten hot, miserable, worry-filled hours, Riza had stood and waited and done everything she could from going crazy. She’d lasted almost half an entire day before she finally gave up and plopped herself down onto the sun-warmed concrete.

There was honestly no explanation Roy would be able to give that would satiate her once he got out- that it, if he got out. Nobody would stay that long in Central Command, not for a simple information-gathering or ally-making trip. Not anyone who knew they had somebody waiting for them outside. Something had to have happened to him.

Riza’s feet and their pain were relegated to less and less important positions the more time passed, and eventually the sitting coupled with the worrying seemed to overtake pain completely. Besides, if her darkest nightmares were coming true, Roy was in triple the amount of pain Riza was. She couldn’t take his suffering for granted.

Another feeling which heightened with the passing of time was Riza’s rebelliousness and her need to get back into the Command Center. Guilt wracked her nerves as she realized she’d been the one to leave him alone-she’d been the one bidding him ‘farewell’ and ‘good luck’ as he ventured into the unknown. She was the one sitting on the ground, just waiting for him to reemerge unscathed. She had done nothing the entire time she’d had a sick, disquieting feeling pooling in her stomach, out of some strange sense of duty toward following Roy’s orders and hoping for the impossible.

If anyone were to blame for this, it was her. She’d left him alone with no protection, and he was paying the price for it. Riza had failed at her job- the one thing she’d vowed to do, and to dedicate her entire life toward. She’d failed the one person in the world who meant more to her than anything else. Because of her, he was hurt or something much, much worse.

* * *

 

Halfway through the eleventh hour, Riza’s vigilant eyes spotted a figure exiting the building and sauntering toward her. Irrational hope tugged at her heartstrings, but it soon diminished once she spotted close-cropped brown hair instead of Roy’s unruly black mop.

The figure approached Riza, and she rose to her feet, mind running through every possible thing this soldier could tell her. Either the man would deliver a heartbreaking eulogy for the Colonel, or he would demand Riza uproot herself from her place on the sidewalk and leave without a word. Neither option was appealing, and Riza steeled herself, hoping for the second. Even if it gave her no news of Roy, it did not confirm the horrors in her imagination.

“Excuse me,” The man called out once he was within a close proximity. Riza saluted, noting the stars on the soldier’s shoulder, indicating his rank of Major.

“Sir,” Hands dropped back to Riza’s sides as she stood, feet together, back straight, waiting for what was to come. The honorific rolled off her tongue too easily, and reminded her too much of the Colonel still held captive in the Command Center.

Once the soldier had approached close enough to note the stars and stripes on Riza’s uniform, he finally addressed her properly, “Lieutenant, my name is Major John Douglass, and I order you to tell me what the hell you’ve been doing, camped out here since the middle of the night.”

So he was here to shoo her away then… “Major, late last night I accompanied Colonel Mustang to the Command Center for a meeting. The Colonel ordered me to wait for him outside and hasn’t returned,” Riza attempted to keep her voice as devoid from emotion as possible, giving the officer only facts. She hoped that in return for her bluntness, she would receive the same treatment and uncover the information she seeked.

“You stood here and just watched the door for God knows how many hours just because you were ordered to?” Douglass paused, irritation very evident in his gravelly voice, “Are you aware of how suspicious it looked for an armed woman to plant herself in front of the most important building in the country and just watch the door?”

“No, sir…” Came Riza’s honest answer. The entire time she’d stood watch, the thought that she looked suspicious had never crossed her mind. All she’d been occupied with was Roy, and what exactly had happened to her Colonel.

“You didn’t take the hint after about hour three that he probably forgot you were out here and began doing something else?” Another annoyed comment from Douglass, trying to prompt Riza to show something more on her face than an indifferent mask.

His comment though… Roy couldn’t have just _forgotten_ she was there. He’d promised to return as well, and Riza knew he cared enough about her not to disappear without a trace, leaving her to agonize on the sidewalk for ten hours. Roy couldn’t have…

“He ordered me directly to stay here and wait for him. To ignore a direct order from my superior could result in being court-marshaled,” Again, it was difficult to speak about Roy without showing the worry in her voice, but Riza did so anyway, trying not to give away more information than necessary.

Douglass looked at her for a moment, then sighed loudly, “Well if you keep standing here, you will most definitely be court-marshaled. These orders come directly from General Clifham, who wants you going back to your normal job at once,” He snapped, Riza’s heart deflating.

Not a single word about Roy or his condition had been uttered in their conversation. And even though the Lieutenant still clung on to her last shred of hope that he was well, and just still occupied with his mission to find allies, she needed to know the truth. She needed to know what was happening.

“And… The Colonel?”

“I saw Colonel Mustang downtown about an hour ago, lazing away in his office with the rest of his subordinates, where he should be. Not at any meetings,” What? “He must have forgotten you were out here, Lieutenant,” With those words, Douglass turned sharply on his feet and motioned for Riza to follow him back into her workplace.

What that man had told her was impossible. His statements made Riza’s head spin, and she almost fell over as she took her first step. No. Roy couldn’t have…

Anger flared in her chest, and propelled Riza to steady herself and march behind Douglass, matching his pace.

It just didn’t make sense for the Colonel to have forgotten about her like that. Even if her presence outside Central Command had slipped his mind, his memory surely would have been jogged when she didn’t show up to work a few hours ago. Usually when that happened, he had the sense to check up on her and make sure she was alright. He should have remembered her then.

Something about the entire situation felt _off_ to Riza, and she was determined to get to the bottom of it.

* * *

 

After speaking with General Clifham about why she stood suspiciously in front of Central Command for hours, Riza was ordered back to work.

The walk was agonizing. Fluorescent bulbs in the ceiling cast strange shadows over the faces of soldiers Riza passed, and made the white walls almost blinding. That ugly tile floor reflected everything back into Riza’s face, and she was forced to stare at her disheveled, worrying visage as she marched toward the office. Any announcements or letters posted in the hall faded into the background, despite the fact that Riza began her morning by reading them on most days. Her sole focus this morning was finding Roy, and uncovering what he’d done while she suffered outside in the sun.

The office door had always creaked, but the noise seemed louder than usual when Riza pushed the thing open and stepped into her workplace. Concerned faces from the rest of Roy’s team snapped up to meet hers, silent questioning in their eyes.

Nothing about the scene in front of her seemed particularly out of place. Fuery still had screws and other assorted radio parts strewn across his workspace, Breda still had a sandwich in one hand and a pen in the other, and Falman still raised his hand in a stiff salute to the Lieutenant as she entered. They were all three in the middle of their normal work routines, which for some, involved a minimal amount of actual work. The only thing out of place was Riza, and her sudden late entrance.

“What had you all tied up this morning, Hawkeye,” Breda set down his sandwich and twirled his pen between two fingers, attempting nonchalance, but failing, as his worry about Riza still showed through. The Second Lieutenant and Riza had always been friends, and the sight of her tired face must have been extremely off-putting.

“Nothing of any real concern to any of you,” Replied Riza curtly, internally cringing at how rude she must have sounded. She still cared for her unit, but right then, her top priority was Roy, who was now only separated to her by one wooden door to his personal office.

“Are you sure?” Fuery piped up, noticing the worried cracks in Riza’s stoic façade more easily than he should have.

“Yes,” She nodded, then turned her eyes to Roy’s office, “Is the Colonel currently occupied with something?” She inquired, changing the topic.

“I don’t think so,” Falman spoke this time, “But earlier he did say that he was feeling like he wanted some time alone, so he shut his door on us.”

“I see…” Murmured Riza in response, and turned to the barrier between her and the Colonel, observing the white door in all of its glory- chipped paint, black scuff marks, squeaky handle and all, “I’m going to go talk with him now. I will be back to begin my work momentarily,” Riza turned away from her friends and walked up to the door.

It wasn’t locked; Riza had an easy time opening it, and stepped into Roy’s office, not knowing exactly what to expect.

Maybe she had opened the door thinking she would see her commander lying dead in a pool of his own blood, or sputtering his last breaths out as a homunculus chomped down on his bones. Perhaps she had expecting something out of her twisted fears to materialize itself into the office. Something to that nature honestly would have shocked Riza less than the sight in front of her.

Colonel Roy Mustang, leaning back in his black office chair, waving a pen around in his right hand and fingering the edge of a form with his right. He was in one piece. And he smiled as he heard the wooden creak of Riza’s arrival.

There was no blood; no homunculus; no props come straight from a horror film. There was only confusion as Riza slammed the door behind her.

 “Lieutenant Hawkeye, I was beginning to think you were skipping work today, he began, taking in the sight of Riza’s rumpled uniform and crooked hair, “Maybe you should have; you’re not looking immaculate as usual,” A small smirk played on his lips.

What kind of greeting was that? Especially to the person who had waited for him all night and all morning, just to find that he’d left her? Even with the lingering dread in her gut, Riza’s blood simmered.

“Sir,” Riza breathed deeply, ignoring the whirlwind of emotions attempting to overtake her system, “Why didn’t you inform me of your decision to come directly to work after your meeting with General Raven? I was still waiting for you outside by the car,” She stared down at the Colonel, unable to quite place the look in his eyes.

It was… different. Perhaps it was just the irritation spotting Riza’s vision, or her obvious shock, but Roy’s eyes had somehow changed. He watched her now, eyes sharp as a hawk’s-sharp as _hers_. His lips may have been curled into a playful smirk, but whatever had overtaken his gaze was as far from playful as anything could possibly get.

“Oh, about that... After my meeting wrapped up, it was late, so I came directly here. I thought you’d show up on time too,” He replied, fiddling with the pen in his grip. This was strange too…

His gloves, now a far cry from the pristine white accessories which remained ever-present, were now black; darker than night, and more disconcerting than any other change in him or the office. Roy swore by wearing white gloves everywhere. ‘Timeless, classy, and elegant,’ he called them, always wearing a pair even with his civilian clothes. Black gloves had never even been considered an option before.

“Your orders were that I wait by the car for you, sir.”

 “Yes, well, things change, Lieutenant. It’s time for work now,” He dismissed her, casual as if he were ordering from a restaurant. He so flippantly dismissed the woman who had stood waiting for him for what seemed like an eternity. Roy hadn’t even apologized. Who the hell even was this man anymore?

Nothing seemed right in the office. The lights, Roy’s eyes, his gloves, and the way he casually spoke of Riza’s earlier predicament were indicative of _something_. Thinking about what the hell could be going on made Riza’s head spin and her brain overheat. This wasn’t just fatigue wearing her down; these factors refused to add up, no matter how many times Riza may have tried.

“Do you know exactly how long I stood there, Colonel,” Riza retaliated, stepping closer to the man, “Over _ten_ hours, damn it. If you think you can just wave your hand without even saying _sorry_ , then you are sorely mistaken,” her voice’s pitch was raised, not loud enough to pervade through the wall and disturb the rest of the team, but enough to almost make her flinch. Roy kept his gaze locked onto his Lieutenant, calm as ever.

He narrowed his eyes and cocked his head to one side, leaning it on one of his fists, “I sincerely apologize, Lieutenant, for forgetting to walk out and drag you back into the office,” He said after a long enough pause, annoyance creeping into his voice, “Now, if you will excuse me, I have a headache, and I would like to sit here in peace.”

“Is that all you have to say to me?” Scoffed Riza, placing a hand on her hip. Roy Mustang or not, no man was ever going to treat her with such outright disrespect. Nobody was ever going to demean her and act like all of her hard work was for nothing.

Roy never would have said this to her. His cocky, arrogant act was just that- an act; in reality he cared deeply for Riza and the rest of his precious subordinates, and would never utter words like he just had. Honestly, if Riza was concerned, her Colonel cared _too_ deeply for those who worked beside him. His obvious disregard for her feelings and her work was something extremely uncharacteristic of Roy Mustang.

Even if he seemed safe and unscathed, that was obviously not the real case.

“Look, if you want to talk, we can do it after work, alone,” Roy stood and took a few steps around his desk and toward Riza. For someone who had a headache, his gait was controlled and commanding, and showed no outward signs of Roy’s pain.

“After work, sir?” That was puzzling, seeing how after work they _should_ be checking up on the Elrics or doing something more important in the way of gathering information.

“Yes,” he stepped closer, causing Riza to instinctively back away, “We’ll talk then. In the time being, you and I both have work to do,” The Colonel advanced until Riza was almost up against the door, then opened it and waved her out.

* * *

 

Every second of the remainder of that day was torture.

Every ounce of determination Riza had was put toward keeping her eyes from creeping to Roy’s office door. The act was irrational, and would not even help toward solving the predicament with the Colonel, and it lowered Riza’s productivity so much that she had to get up and physically move herself into a different room to complete her forms.

Thinking back upon her conversation with Roy, Riza was certain that he was hiding something from her. His intentions had mainly been to remove her from the office, and maintain his self-imposed isolation for as long as possible. That was the most logical explanation for why he had dismissed her so easily and practically pushed her out. Even so, secrets alone did not change the fact that he had not properly apologized for leaving her out to dry in the sun.

Just the simple fact that he’d left her out there in the first place, when he’d had so much time and opportunity to walk five minutes and retrieve her was the unbelievable thing. When Roy promised something, like his return, he always followed through. Especially when the one he promised such things to was Riza. Their bond was so strong that Roy would never have even _dreamed_ of making a promise that was impossible to keep. Both he and she respected and trusted one another enough that they knew each vow was sincere.

Each vow, it seemed, except the one they had made outside in the early hours of the morning in the lamplight.

Riza was confident that Roy cared about her enough not to have just neglected her like that.

So that was what puzzled her so much. Even if he had been unable to collect her for whatever reason, the man would have apologized profusely the second Riza had walked into the office. Despite their relationship being nothing less than professional, it was obvious that Roy and Riza cared for each other more deeply than either cared to admit. That bond normally would have made Roy at least verbally apologize to Riza, and with his penchant for shopping, buy her gifts to help get his point across. At least, that was what he had always seemed to do in the past.

Now, Riza was faced with some kind of new Roy Mustang, twirling his pen away in his office, donning his strange black gloves and willfully ignoring all of the friends and subordinates around him. And the more she thought about what explanation he could possibly have for that morning, the larger and larger her anxiety grew. Would she find out this was all just some elaborate act while he and his team remained under the scrutiny of the homunculi, or had something truly changed within Roy’s heart?

Anticipation, fear, and curiosity eventually got a rather bedraggled Riza through the rest of her day, and finally- _finally_ \- it was time for her meeting with Roy alone.

He stalked out of his private office almost ten minutes after work had officially ended, and the rest of his unit had left for their homes, only Lieutenant Hawkeye waiting patiently by her desk.

“I believe you have some explaining to do, sir.”

“Ah, yes, Lieutenant,” Roy replied, walking over toward the place in which Riza sat with swift efficiency, “What would you like to discuss?”

Riza softened her hard expression and stood up to meet Roy, “What exactly were you so occupied doing that caused you to forget about me waiting outside?” It was a simple enough question, but still loaded enough to make Roy take a moment to think, one black-gloved hand stroking his jawline.

“I had my meeting with Raven, then it was time to report in for work. I figured you would follow along after long enough,” He looked down into her mahogany eyes with his sharp ones, and unease settled on Riza’s shoulders. Something about his glare turned her stomach in knots, but Riza forced herself to hold eye contact, refusing to back down.

In that moment, so close to the Colonel and so intent on studying his eyes, Riza noticed something she should have before. In this light, his irises looked almost… violet.

Usually Roy’s eyes had a blueish tint to them, only visible when he was out in the sunlight, and almost never under the harsh office fluorescents. This, however was not just a tint. Roy’s pupils were actually discernable from the color which surrounded them- an extremely rare, almost impossible occurrence. In fact, the longer she stared into the depths of Roy’s eyes, the more certain she became that they were, in fact, tinted violet, and it wasn’t just shadows cast by the white bulbs illuminating them from above. In fact, in any other lighting, the color would have appeared _even more_ vibrant.

“Well, Lieutenant,” Roy spoke again, snapping Riza back into reality and out of her thoughts. She had stared too long at yet another factor that gave the entire situation a foul, suffocating air and ran her mind in loops, so close to collapsing. He stepped closer to her, much closer than he normally should have for a private conversation of that nature, and the bubble around Riza’s personal space popped, slowly filling in with heat.

“Colonel, you made me a promise,” Replied the Lieutenant, hoping to somehow snap Roy back into reality as well, and dispelling this evil version.

“Did I, now?” His eyes flicked to the side, a move indicative of an attempt to remember the past. But how could he have forgotten?

“Yes, you did. I only let you enter the Command Center alone after you promised me you would come back, unharmed, for me,” Riza jogged his memory a bit faster. She felt uneasy the longer he stood so close to her, and all of her muscles screamed to step backward; she would have done so, had there not been a desk blocking her path.

After a pause, Roy finally spoke again, “You are correct.”

“And that’s it? You just forgot?”

“I did.”

Riza couldn’t hear anything else Roy might have said over the sound of her own heartbeat. Something more than just a simple lapse in memory had to have happened. That wasn’t the whole story and she knew it. And judging by the look in Roy’s eyes, _he_ knew it too.

“You forgot, even after that whole conversation we had?” She reiterated, studying his face closely for what followed.

“Yes, even after our conversation, _Riza_.”

Riza. _Riza?_ Since when had he gotten into the habit of referring to her by first name? Roy only called her Riza when he had to announce her whole name for some kind of order or official purpose. Not since the pair were teenagers that they referred to each other by their given names.

So why would he have called her that? He should have known her first name wouldn’t help him curry favor, and at this point, she guessed ‘Lieutenant’ might have come more naturally out of his mouth after having to say it for so many recent years.

“Are you done talking to me now,” Roy once again broke her free from her mind and filled the uncomfortable silence settling over the two.

Not knowing how to respond, Riza nodded curtly and watched as Roy took two steps back, toward the coat rack, “Be on time tomorrow, Lieutenant,” He turned from her and walked out the door without saying goodbye.

Without realizing it, Riza fell back down into her chair, still shocked, and no less satiated by this conversation than their previous one. They’d essentially just repeated the same things back to each other, Roy giving no clearer explanations to what the hell had made him just forget about his Lieutenant. The only thing that had changed was Roy’s presence. In the office, it had been disquieting; just now, it had been suffocating.

This new feeling- this new pit in Riza’s stomach was not the Roy she knew and vowed to follow. This Roy, who had black gloves and violet eyes with an almost malicious glint in them. This Roy, who was seemingly followed by shadows and hot, unbreathable air. This Roy, who flippantly disregarded Riza’s feelings and their promises to one another.

This wasn’t her Roy.

That much, at least, Riza was certain of. Even though it was his face staring back at her from behind his desk, the person inside was different.

While Riza stood and waited outside, she had imagined Roy being shot, stabbed, beaten, and tortured- all physical punishments and tortures. But she had never even begun to consider their enemies doing something to his mind. Instead of Roy’s throat leaking blood onto the carpet, she had never wondered about what they could do to him psychologically.

She never considered what they could have done to brainwash him or compel him into doing their bidding and becoming something he was not. Because, with what Riza had just witnessed, that was what had to have happened.

If this was still even Roy, that is.

Everything added up. In a brilliant, terrible epiphany, Riza realized something. All the hints and the subtle changes, and her stomach willing to overturn its contents in his presence, Riza made what was possibly the most important realization in her life. There was no way in hell the person she had spoken to was Roy Mustang. And the real Colonel- her real Roy- was still trapped somewhere, being subjected to God knows what.

She had still failed, and was no closer to any sort of answers than she had been at the beginning of that day, sweating on the sidewalk. But this time, she couldn’t just wait; she was going to do something and find out exactly what had happened.


	3. Some Mordant Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not dead, and neither is this fanfic. I've just been really busy since school started. Anyway, here's chapter 3. I might go back and rework the ending a bit, but I also might not. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who's been following this story and has left reviews! You guys are amazing! Keep it up and let me know what you think, or if any part of this is too OOC or just difficult to read!

As Lust exited the office, he could hear Lieutenant Hawkeye fall down into a chair, the brass buttons and adornments on her uniform clacking against the hard wood. He was certain, at this point, that the woman had noticed something strange about him. It was almost impossible of Father and the others to expect him to keep up his little charade while only giving him information about Mustang’s habits and lifestyle, not his personality.

Lust had no way of knowing exactly to what extent Mustang and his blonde Lieutenant had been romantically involved, but in the process of testing out those waters, he had accidentally taken it too far by calling her _Riza_. That woman had gone berserk after Lust had impaled the Colonel back at Lab Three; he could have sworn those two were involved in some sort of illicit relationship. But apparently not. What would he find out next; the prostitutes Mustang frequented were just friends he occasionally talked to?

So as he made the trek back to Colonel Mustang’s apartment, he made it a task to find out as much as he could about the man he was supposed to be impersonating. Even if he couldn’t fool those closest to Mustang, he could still work harder at making sure he fooled everyone else.

Unlike the other human-based homunculi who existed, Lust was at a distinct disadvantage. He was unable to access the memories and skills of his body’s previous host, due to the fact that Mustang’s soul no longer resided there. Unlike Greed, that asshole, who still could apparently feel and hear that Xingese kid’s soul, and catch glimpses of his memories when he tried, Lust could do none of that. Other than the maelstrom of souls in his philosopher’s stone, Lust’s mind was his and his alone.

And most of the time, that was perfect. Totally great for everyone because he didn’t have to struggle against a whiny host like Greed, or have to wonder about whether or not his original soul remained at all, like Wrath. He knew he was Lust, and could make whatever decisions he wanted, completely unfettered. Just… He wished he had access to Mustang’s damn memories.

Whatever. It wouldn’t do Lust much good if he was bitching about it. His time would be better spent doing some research, or going out and destressing before he had to face his ‘colleagues’ once more. Not only would he have to stand under Hawkeye’s strict scrutiny, but he couldn’t hole himself up in his office again as he frantically read files, reports, and newspaper clippings about the Colonel he was meant to become.

* * *

 

The catacombs beneath Central City were sprawling; almost infinite, and ridiculously complex, making them the perfect place to hold any prisoners.

Roy Mustang guessed his cell was wet. He saw the condensation on the cool, stone walls, and sometimes on his arms and legs. He was also pretty sure there was a sewer nearby; he could hear something rushing if he sat still and made sure not to accidentally make any echoes.

He guessed that below ground, it was cold. Whenever one of the homunculi came to taunt him, he could always see white puffs of steam coming from their mouths, as would come out of anyone’s mouth on a an average winter day.

It was just a guess that there was sometimes a breeze blowing below ground. Occasionally, he heard the telltale whistling of the wind in the passages, or he saw Envy’s clothes or hair move around, flapping to the right. But then again, he couldn’t know for sure, due to the fact that all he had to go off of were visual cues.

Because Roy could feel none of these things. He couldn’t feel the dampness, or the cold, or any of the wind circulating air through the tunnels. He couldn’t feel it when he banged his hands on the bars of his cell, or whenever the homunculi threw or kicked or hit him around.

He couldn’t feel anything.

* * *

 

Driving home, for Riza Hawkeye, was a surreal experience. The car ride was such a deeply ingrained part of her daily routine that it was laughable she was doing it after everything that had transpired that day.

She was absolutely sure of the fact that somebody had put together a very convincing Roy Mustang costume, and had somehow done away with the real Colonel, the whereabouts of whom were unknown. The homunculi had managed to bring down the Flame Alchemist, and concoct an evil replacement in just a short manner of hours. They had managed to defeat quite possibly the most powerful alchemist the State had at its disposal, and by the looks of the Central Command Center and everywhere Roy had been that past night, they’d done so without him even putting up much of a fight.

In just one day, Riza’s entire world- the person she’d built her military career on and vowed to support- had been wrenched into tiny pieces and scattered.

Yet here she was, hands gripping the steering wheel as usual, feet moving the pedals methodically, eyes on the open road in front of her, making her way back to her apartment.

What she should be doing was finding Roy. She should be tearing apart the Command Center, looking for clues as to where he went and how he disappeared. She should be further interrogating that imposter now that she knew he was a fake. But how?

Other than the fact that she knew the homunculi were somehow behind this, Riza knew nothing else about her situation. She knew she could try snooping around, but would inevitably get caught before she could make any major headway. From her experience under Lab 3, Riza knew that underneath the city, there were countless tunnels, and coupled with the sewer system and any buildings, the task of searching everything was impossible for just one woman.

Before she began acting, she needed to think of a concrete plan; one that would give her information, and at least some idea where she would need to look in order to narrow her search. Any clues about the location of Colonel Mustang at all, Riza needed, before she expected to break him free from his captors.

And she needed to find out who the hell the homunculi had impersonating him. Going over the list of information the Elric Brothers had given her, Riza came to the conclusion that it must be the shapeshifting monster- Envy.

Out of the others, there was no chance it was Gluttony, Lust and Greed were both dead, and it was suspected, by that Xingese prince, that Wrath was Fuhrer Bradley. Other than Gluttony and Wrath, Envy was the only other living homunculus, and the skillset the monster possessed meshed perfectly with the mission he needed to accomplish.

But her hunch could always be wrong. Riza had no real way of knowing exactly which homunculus plagued her until she confronted him about it. But even so, that might not give her any information as to where Roy was being held.

With thoughts of her plan for rescuing Colonel Mustang, Riza reached the parking lot of her apartment complex, and turned the key in the vehicle, shutting the engine off. In the dark, Riza grabbed the files she put in the backseat so she could work on them at home, and stepped out.

The trek up to Riza’s small apartment was another easy, routine thing, and she scoffed again, thinking about how Hayate, until he sensed her distress, would also likely follow his little after-work routine, jumping up with excitement and weaving in and out between her legs until Riza sat down on the couch to unlace her boots, and he laid his fuzzy head on her lap. That normalcy, unlike the others, Riza welcomed; Hayate was always phenomenal at calming her down when it was needed.

But the second Riza’s hallway came into view, she knew the routine would be interrupted.

Gold shone from the place outside her door, and immediately, Riza recognized the source of the reflection as Edward Elric’s hair. The teen turned to face her as Riza’s boots clomped into the hall, and Riza’s heartbeat quickened.

In all of her worrying and planning and speculation, she had completely forgotten what she wished to say to everyone else about the disappearance of Colonel Mustang. She was at a loss as to how she would break the news to the boy who stared up at her with wide golden eyes.

“Lieutenant Hawkeye, I was just beginning to think you weren’t at home,” He began, ignoring Hayate’s excited yipping room inside the door as Riza approached.

“I’m sorry about that, Edward,” Riza replied, giving him a small smile, “I just had to stay a few minutes late at the office,” With that understatement of the century. Ed shifted on his feet, and jerked one of his hands toward his pockets, as if he wished to take something out.

“Could I-“ He began, but was cut off by the Lieutenant as she closed the gap in between herself and her doorknob.

“Would you like to come inside for a cup of tea?” She finished his sentence for him, and put on her best calm face. Riza had something extremely important to say to the young alchemist, and he had something equally important he wished to discuss with her. So Riza figured tea would be the best way to calm the both of them down so she could tell him with a straight face what had happened to Roy. Edward had a right to know exactly what they were dealing with, and he deserved to hear it from someone who was calm enough to talk about it.

“If that’s alright with you, Lieutenant,” Ed shifted again, but was met with a smile.

“I have something I’d like to discuss with you, and tea, would be enjoyable while we talk, don’t you think?” Riza kept most of her worry under control while they were still out in the open, not knowing if any of the homunculi had taken it upon themselves to follow either her or Ed.

Riza inserted her key into the door to her apartment, and turned the knob slightly, opening it just enough so that she could stick her foot inside, giving Hayate no chance to escape the confines of the apartment. However, it soon occurred to her that she couldn’t slip into her apartment as she usually did, due to Edward also waiting to enter. She was so used to coming up alone that she really couldn’t remember much of a proper procedure for letting other people in with her. The last time she’d had to do so was when Roy had helped her carry boxes in, directly after their transfer.

Pushing thoughts of Roy out of her mind for the moment, Riza begrudgingly swung her front door open, and like a bullet, Black Hayate fired himself at the blonde teenager waiting in the hallway, knocking him to the ground.

Obscenities spilled from Ed’s mouth at the impact, but he soon clamped a hand over his mouth after realizing that Riza was still right next to him. Ed’s other hand went to Hayate, first attempting to push his attacker off his chest, but soon realizing, at the sight of Hayate’s wagging tail, and Hayate’s tongue on his face, that resistance was futile. Instead, he began petting the Shiba, and eventually, calmed Hayate down enough to cause the puppy to leave and nuzzle his head against his owner’s legs.

With apologies from both ends, Riza and Ed entered the apartment, Hayate weaving in and out through the Lieutenant’s feet. Riza set her work files down onto the coffee table in her living room, and invited Ed to sit on the couch with her as she unlaced her boots and slid her feet into a pair of slippers, offering Ed the chance to do the same. As he took up her offer, Riza walked into the kitchen and turned her kettle on, starting on the tea.

After finishing the rest of the preparations, she took both her jacket and her waist cape off, and hung them up in her room before going back out to meet Ed, who was petting a curled-up Hayate on the couch.

This was it. Riza knew she had to tell Ed exactly what had happened, and she took a moment to steel herself. He deserved to know, as much as anyone, exactly what was going on with Colonel Mustang and the homunculi. She just… She just hated having to tell him news so terrible. Even after everything Ed had seen and been through, he was still so young, and he didn’t deserve so much hardship in life. But he had to know; and for that reason, Riza couldn’t hold back.

It was just so hard, considering the difficult hand life Ed had been dealt by life. He sat on the couch, looking small as ever, and Riza just couldn’t help but feel terrible. Even though she was only the harbinger of bad news, and had not actually been a part of the homunculi’s plot to replace Roy with an evil duplicate, it was still her fault for letting it happen. She’d just stayed outside and waited for him, instead of following through on her promise to always watch his back. And God, had that mistake cost everyone dearly. Riza wasn’t quite sure how, or even if she would be able to articulate her own feelings of inadequacy and failure to Ed, and how he would feel if she did.

“Edward,” She addressed once she walked over and sat herself down on the couch next to him, laying one of her own hands on Hayate’s warm belly, “Something extremely important today happened today, regarding Colonel Mustang and the Homunculi, and it’s difficult for me to explain, but you need a proper explanation for everything that’s been going on.”

“Lieutenant, actually, can I say something first? It has something to do with exactly that, and it’s really important,” Ed looked at her, his nerves obviously returning.

Riza pondered the offer, and ultimately decided to let Ed speak first. Whatever was on his chest, he desperately needed to get off, and if he had to wait to talk until after Riza released her own devastating statements would be a bit cruel, “Tell me whatever you want to, Ed. You know you can always talk to me.”

“Okay. Well, uh..” Ed lowered his gaze to the ground, and reached for his back pocket, where he reproduced the pistol Riza had lent him before his fight with Gluttony, “First off, I need to give this back to you, but there’s also something else too.”

Riza reached out for the gun, and once she pulled it back closer to herself, she noticed exactly the condition it was in. The pistol, once gleaming silver, was now dull and caked with a reddish-brown substance Riza could identify all too well. Dried blood. Unconsciously, Riza’s heartbeat quickened, and she wrenched her head back up to look at Edward, “What happened to you that led to this much blood?” Riza turned the pistol over, and felt the weight of it in her hand, and she noticed something even worse, “You didn’t fire a single shot. Is this _yours_?”

At the sight of the usually composed Lieutenant’s distraught face, Ed quickly brought his hands up and waved them in the air, “No! No, it’s definitely not my blood. Or, anyone’s really. Nobody got shot,” he gave Riza a small smile for reassurance, “I’m sorry I got it so dirty, but long story short, I got swallowed by Gluttony, and his stomach was like a pool filled with the stuff.”

If that last statement was meant to reassure Riza, it had failed horribly at its job, “ _Swallowed?_ ”

“Yeah,” Ed knotted his steel hand in his flesh one, “I won’t go much into details, but I got swallowed, but got out, and I’m alright now. All of the important stuff I need to tell you happened after that,” As Ed looked down, Riza could practically reach out and touch the sadness and fear radiating off of him.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” She asked, setting the soiled gun down onto the coffee table with her paperwork.

“Yeah, sorry, there’s just a lot going on right now,” He reached out again to rub Hayate’s head, and before he could continue, a sharp whistle from the tea kettle broke him off.

“I’ll go get that, and hopefully that will make it easier for you to tell me what’s wrong, alright?” Riza stood, and as Ed mumbled back an agreement, she fetched their drinks.

As much as Riza didn’t want to admit it, her hands trembled ever so slightly as she gripped the mugs and poured boiling water on top of two teabags. Edward was sitting on her couch, after having been sucked into that hellish void that must have been Gluttony’s stomach. He had literally been eaten by that deranged homunculus- something Riza had had nightmares about ever since her close encounter with the monster- and _survived._ And he had something even worse, and even more important to tell her.

Not only had Riza allowed Roy to get swept away and replaced by a monster, but she had been one of the deciding factors in whether or not the children should have been left behind to fight Gluttony. She’d abandoned them to fight, and because of that, Edward had been swallowed. Because of her, the lives of children had been endangered, and she’d almost lost someone else who was dear to her.

The pit in her stomach grew infinitely deeper, and Riza struggled to keep her straight face and carry on with her task. However, she willed her heartbeat to slow, and managed to focus back on what she was doing.

With swift efficiency, Riza carried the two tea mugs back out to the living room, and handed Ed his as she resumed her previous position on the couch, legs curled up under her and one hand on her dog.

“After I transmuted us out of Gluttony,” Ed began, after taking a moment to decide on his words, “We ended up someplace underground, pretty much under Central Command, and we met some creepy bearded guy named Father, who was apparently the leader of the homunculi.”

“Wait,” Riza interjected in between sips of tea, “Under the Command Center?”

“Yeah, it’s so our esteemed Fuhrer President can get down there with only a few flights of stairs from his office,” Ed cringed, and Riza gripped her cup tighter. So it was true, then. No longer was there any doubt that King Bradley was a homunculus.

Hearing the rumors about the Fuhrer’s true past had been jarring enough; just hearing the claim, and knowing that if it were true, all the evidence would line up. But having it confirmed was another thing. The Amestrian Military- the institution Riza had dedicated her entire adult life to- was led by a power-crazy monster. The man who children looked up to, and whose birthday was one of the largest national celebrations in Amestris, was just a deceptive homunculus, playing with the lives of his people as through he was playing a game of checkers.

Riza lost her focus on the young alchemist in front of her for a moment, the cavern in her gut breaking wider and wider open. Fuhrer Bradley being a homunculus would just make it that much harder to rescue Colonel Mustang from wherever he was being held captive. She was up against the most powerful man in the entire country.

“But anyway, this weird-ass Father guy did some crazy alchemy, and he healed up all our injuries, and then…” Ed’s voice cracked, and Riza broke out of her stupor long enough to have caught that last phrase.

Ed’s eyes, though they had been clouded before, almost had a sort of haunted quality to them at that moment, “Then, he just whipped out a philosopher’s stone and made himself a new homunculus.”

“A new one?” The words tumbled out of Riza’s mouth involuntarily, the exact second after she had processed Ed’s statement in her head. _A new homunculus_?

“Yeah. He shoved his philosopher’s stone into Ling, and even though this sounds impossible, he made himself a new Greed, using Ling’s body as some kind of host for it all.”

For what seemed like the millionth time in an impossibly long day, the floor beneath Riza gave out and she was falling. Whoever the hell “Father” was, the man could create new homunculi at his will, and worse still, he used people to do so, ripping any sense of agency they might have had away. He could create a new pawn for his schemes whenever he felt like it, and did so at the cost of human lives.

Had this been Roy’s fate? Had he been infected by that goddamn _rock_ , and been overtaken by some kind of sadistic monster?

Was it possible that it really was Roy she’d encountered before? Only now, his soul long gone and new one having taken its place?

Without realizing it, Riza’s fingers had curled so tightly around her mug of tea that her knuckles were white, and the blue veins running across the back of them were prominent enough for Ed to have seen from the other side of the couch.

“Lieutenant Hawkeye, are you alright?” He looked up at her with wide eyes, his hand having paused petting Hayate. The dog lifted his head, and upon noticing his master’s distress, moved away from Ed and nuzzled Riza’s arm.

She was most definitely _not_ okay, no matter how she tried to spin the situation. Even though she prayed desperately that the homunculus working in her office now was Envy, wearing Roy’s face, she now knew that there was an intense likelihood that it was not.

Roy could be lost to her forever; turned into a monster much worse than Envy or any of the others.

“Lieu- Lieutenant?” In response to Riza’s silent terror, Ed ventured to call her name out once more in order to break her out of her sinking thoughts.

“Ed,” Riza managed out, as if she had not just lost the most important person in her life, “I’m sorry for freezing up on you like that. I just…” She just what? She honestly had no good excuse.

So instead of an excuse, she turned the subject to her one glimmer of hope, “Is being turned into a homunculus permanent?”

“I don’t know.”

Riza deflated, “Oh.”

“But I do know that even though you can’t really just take the philosopher’s stone out and reverse everything, that person who’s soul rightfully owns the body still exists inside the homunculus. ”

If Riza’s head could have gone any faster when she looked back at Ed, it would have snapped off.

_The person whose original soul it was could still exist within a homunculus._ Roy was still alive somewhere, even if it was trapped, motionless and powerless in his own body, it was still alive. His beautiful, wonderful soul was still in this world somewhere, and could be saved.

_Roy wasn’t dead._ Even if he was a homunculus, Riza could fix that.

“After we fought the new Greed for a little while, we started trying to reach Ling, and we got him so riled up that after a few seconds, he was able to break through for a moment or two,” Edward continued for the Lieutenant, who drank up his every word like someone lost in the desert would drink water.

“He definitely isn’t powerful enough to be in control, but at least we know he’s alive, and I guess that’s the important part,” Clenching both his fist and his teeth, Ed looked down again, and Riza remembered exactly how terrible he must also be feeling.

How could she have managed to neglect Edward’s feelings this entire time, only selfishly thinking of her own sorrow at the thought of losing Roy? She was awful; the entire reason she’d invited Ed inside was to give him tea and make him more comfortable, but all he’d gotten was cheap tea and someone who was entirely too wrapped up in her own issues.

“Ed,” She ventured out to say, and the boy in question brought his gold eyes up to meet her mahogany ones, “Are you alright? Not just your injuries, but everything else too?”

He paused for a brief moment, just thinking to himself about what to say, until he finally sighed, “I’m alright, Lieutenant Hawkeye. It’s just been a really long day.”

“So it has,” Riza agreed, and just sat in silence with Edward until the both of them had finished their tea.

Neither Riza nor Ed wanted more to drink, so Riza decided to break her news to the teenager while he only had Hayate to comfort him.

“Edward,” She started, not knowing how else to open, “Thank you for telling me everything about the homunculi,” He nodded, “But as I mentioned before, I also have something important to tell you.”

Staying silent, Ed urged Riza on with his eyes, and the Lieutenant took in a deep breath before beginning. How _should_ she begin? Starting right off the bat by saying Roy was either being impersonated by a homunculus or had been turned into one would no doubt shock Ed too much. Besides, before she voiced her thoughts, which she knew were right, she would need to line the evidence up for Edward, so he would come to the same conclusions.

“As you know, after the Colonel and I left you and the others last night, the two of us continued on to Central Command, in hopes of mustering up support from some of the generals there, and to see who we could trust.

“Colonel Mustang went inside the building while I waited out front for his return. But… It never happened,” Ed’s eyes widened.

“Wait! Mustang was there with me when the both of us talked to Bradley. He was fine then!” Ed attempted to fit the pieces of Riza’s tale thus far with those of his own, “I walked in there with Al, and Mustang was just sitting in the Fuhrer’s office. Bradley threatened me for a little while, then got Envy to take us away while Mustang stayed. Did the Colonel never come out?” Panic rose in Ed’s voice as he realized something was extremely wrong.

“Well, he never came to get me, so I waited outside the Command Center until someone from in there came and ordered me back inside. Then, I went to the office…”

Riza looked down at her dog, sprawled across the space on the couch in between her and Ed, tongue lolling out of his mouth, and paws to the air to welcome belly rubs. She had no idea how to least painfully phrase the next portion of her story, so she looked back up and just stated the facts with as straight a face as she could muster.

“Ed, I’m positive Colonel Mustang has been turned into a homunculus,” Automail shattered porcelain, and pieces of Ed’s tea mug flew everywhere.

“What?!” The mild panic Riza had observed in his face moments before was nothing compared to what she saw in him now. Thankfully, Ed remained on the couch, but looked like he wanted to jump up, before taking note of the sharp debris from his accident, “Shit! Wait, I’m sorry! God damn it!”

Hayate jumped away in the confusion, so Riza extended a hand toward Edward in hopes of calming him at least slightly, “It’s alright about the mug, trust me. I’m fairly sure I took that one from work anyway,” Ed just stared at her with an open mouth, “But I do need you to hear the rest of this, so you and Alphonse will know exactly what’s going on.”

It took him a minute, as the initial shock wore off, but Ed finally replied, “You really think Mustang is homunculus?”

“I’m positive, Ed. The second I walked into the office, something felt _off_ , and after talking to the ‘Colonel’, I knew that there was no way in hell it really could have been Mustang,” Riza rubbed the back of her head, trying to think of ways to explain exactly how she knew it wasn’t Roy, but the truth was, it was all of those different mannerisms and small things which had led her to the conclusions she had come to.

“I don’t have any definitive proof for you, and I apologize for that, but please trust me when I say that I know I wasn’t talking to Colonel Mustang; only someone stealing his face.

“At first, I thought it was that shapeshifting homunculus, Envy, impersonating him, and they have him locked up somewhere, but after what you told me, I honestly think it’s possible they could have tried to turn him into a homunculus. I need to find out which one it really is, but I know that instead of the Colonel at work today, I was talking to one of those monsters.”

“Fuck,” Ed breathed out, clenching his fist, this time thankfully with nothing in his hand, “I don’t… I don’t want to believe that this could have happened; that Al and I dragged another person into our mess. But Lieutenant… You know Mustang better than anyone else, and I guess if anyone would be able to tell it wasn’t Colonel Bastard, it would be you,” He lightly punched the couch with his flesh hand, “God damn it! I should have noticed something was up in Bradley’s office.”

“Ed, this isn’t your fault,” Riza gently moved his hand away from her furniture, dumbfounded at the fact that Ed somehow managed to blame himself for the situation. He had no way of knowing the homunculi’s plans, and had his own issues to work through, “How could you possibly have known this was what they were planning on doing?”

“They just got Ling. I should have been more on guard.”

“If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine,” Riza digressed, willingly sacrificing her ever-strong façade in order to unburden Ed, “I was the one who waited outside all morning instead of doing anything.”

“No, it’s not,” He argued back, and though Riza wanted to argue with him in order to convince him she was responsible for this, she knew she had to keep on topic.

“I wholeheartedly do not put any of the blame on you for this Ed,” Riza looked at him intently, making sure here stubborn eyes met his, and refused to look away until he understood that he was not the one at fault for any of that day’s events. Or at least, that no matter who was at fault, the more important issue was how to remedy the situation.

He needed to make the difficult decision to set aside his guilt, shove it to the back of his mind as he, Riza, and everyone else decided what to do about their homunculus problem. Even though his negative emotions would still sometimes over him like a dark storm cloud, Ed would need to decide whether or not to get rained on or stay dry.

It had been the same difficult decision Riza had made earlier that day, even though she wanted to scream. She knew that the only way they would ever succeed in bringing Roy back, or expel a parasitic homunculus from his body would only ever happen if she could set aside emotions and focus on the mission.

That was the tactic that got her through most situations. It was what she should have done back at Lab Three after having shot Lust. Managing to compartmentalize her feelings into the back corner of her brain was what got her through Ishval. And it was what was going to get her and Edward through this.

Though Ed was only half her age, he had been through nightmares that people twice Riza’s age could never even dream of. So he understood the Lieutenant completely, and methodically clenched and unclenched his steel fist to draw his rage away from his mind. He managed to put his guilt aside, and the aftershocks of his incredibly arduous day, and got right down to business, knowing all too well that dwelling on negative feelings would lead to chaos.

If it was possible, Riza could have sworn she saw the already too mature boy grow up some more.

“So how are we going to deal with this?”

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! Here's the first chapter to the fic I was talking about earlier this summer. It's finally time for chapter one! If anyone wants a long explanation as to where I got the idea for this particular AU, there's a longer post on my Tumblr (with the same username) which covers it all. It's just too long to write in an author's note!
> 
> That being said, this story is going to be pretty long, and cover the time span between Roy's meeting with Wrath through the end of FMAB. While I'm going to focus a lot on plot stuff, there is going to be a lot of blatant Royai ahead. That's pretty much the only pairing in here though. T rating is for lots of angst and violence, and some language.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Next chapter is coming fairly soon because that was a pretty evil cliffhanger! Review and tell me your thoughts! I love knowing what people think about my stories!


End file.
